PK and the Gang

Bringing Eastern Europe to Eastern North Carolina

Archive for the category “DM”

Another Step In The Journey

This binder only cost a few bucks but it's currently our most valuable possession!

This binder only cost a few bucks but it’s currently our most valuable possession!

Well, a month has passed since we last posted and we’ve completed another step in the process. Becky and I just got home from a trip to Charlotte to meet the folks who work at our agency. It was a bit of a haul, but we’re glad it was something we had to do.

You see, we’ve spoken with the owners of the agency over the phone, through email and once over Skype but we have only ever met our social worker. It was very nice to meet them, shake their hand and know who it is that is helping to make this whole process happen. Everyone was very nice and they approached it with warmth but also a professionalism that is truly impressive and appreciative.

Most of the time was spent with our social worker going over the home study and helping her fill in some blanks. You might have seen the binder that we have compiled, well, most of that was stuff we needed for this meeting and the lion’s share stayed in Charlotte with them (we’ll get it back after the document is completed). It was one of the few times that I felt like I actually had my act together. The social worker would ask if we had a bit of information and we were, usually, able to pull it out and hand it over to her. In case you’re wondering what all is needed at this stage of the journey:

  1. Certified copies of our birth certificates and marriage certificate
  2. A certified copy of our deed
  3. Copies of our monthly bills
  4. Letters with proof of employment
  5. Medical forms
  6. Proof of health, life, home and car insurance
  7. Property tax information
  8. Information on our mortgage
  9. Copies from our three references (you all rock, by the way)
  10. This year’s tax return

Add to that, the massive forms of social and family information, background checks in every state that we’ve lived in since we were 18 (so, NC, SC, VA, CT, and CA), proof that we have completed our adoption parenting classes and a few other things and you get an idea of how thorough this all is. In the end, this document is going to be around 22 pages, along with the documentation, and certificates that our agency has to tack on. It’s no joke.

We also left with some more homework. I have to get proof that I’m paying into the State’s retirement plan (done!). We have to hound the states of California and Connecticut to get their results from our background checks. Because of Becky’s DM and my Tourette’s, we both have to get letters from our doctors explaining our condition, its history and treatment and that we do not have shortened life expectancy and be good adoptive parents. Becky also has to get her TB shot and another copy of one of her employment letters since they didn’t type out the notary oath. Also, we have to get our fingerprints redone by the FBI since those are apparently only good for a year and, therefore, will be defunct in June. While that last little bit is a little disappointing, it really is no big deal and we’re happy to know what needs to be done. Like I said before, I like having a list to check off.

What happens after all of that? When we turn in all our homework, the home study will be submitted to the owner of the agency, when she proofs it and passes it off, it will be sent to Becky and I for our edits (things like deciding medical conditions we don’t feel we could handle, etc.). When we agree to it all, (and I could be misunderstanding some of this) we have to mail off a smorgasbord of documents to get apostilled, get our fingerprints done by USCIS (meaning a trip to Raleigh/Durham), and then I think we’ll be ready to ship our dossier off to Poland (with perhaps a stop by USCIS for their approval). Then we’re in the waiting game. On the upside of that, we’ll have a completed home study and that means we can start applying for some grants. There are some grants that prefer you to have a referral and so we’d have to wait for those but it will be nice to have something else to do as opposed to just sitting on our hands.

As always, thank you all for your continued support. We got our first check from Just Love Coffee today and every little bit helps! We’re so glad that all of you are rooting us on. We know that we are loved and that PK is going to have quite the fan base when they finally do get here!

Until next time!

For the First Time in Forever…

Yes, I just quoted a Frozen song and am unapologetic about it. What of it?

On 6 January, I made a post and thought that I’d hold back from posting anything until there was something to post. I never really expected it would be nearly two months. Today has been a weird day. I woke up and thought that it would be a normal day off – chill a bit, go for a walk, swing by the bank and the grocery store and go back for some vital relaxation time. Instead it included an email to the agency we want to work with and a phone call to them. It’s the first major contact we’ve made with the agency since we first found them.

We have since found out that the fees have increased since we last talked with them. Which is to be expected, to be sure. The price was a bit higher than what we had thought and so the gut-punch of not being where we thought we were is fresh. On the bright side, we shouldn’t be shocked by other prices since we have the new fee list to go off of. We spoke to a social worker who works for the agency (I promise I’ll tell you their name once they’re officially our agency) who was very nice and knowledgeable. The conversation led to what the application would entail – mental disorders, police records, health issues, etc –  and so we brought up Becky’s medical past. Thankfully, the social worker didn’t think it would be a major issue since it doesn’t affect Becky’s daily life. Unfortunately, since very few people have dermatomyositis and even fewer have heard of it, we have to get a letter from a doctor swearing that we’re fine to adopt. To make it even more fun, said letter may have to be mailed to Poland to have them pass off on it so that we don’t get a surprise down the road. It’s playing it safe and I appreciate it but the whole deal is incredibly annoying.

We’re feeling a whole smorgasbord of emotions at the moment. Disappointment since it feels like we’ve dropped the ball at the one yard line on this phase. Apprehension and fear play a part. Becky has said that she doesn’t want a major reason we are adopting to be the reason we can’t adopt and I hate that the decision is out of my hands. I’m also mad. There are certain days that I just get pissed off over the fact that most anyone with a little gumption and a bit of luck can become a parent – no questions, no tests – but all adoptive parents have a gauntlet of red tape to jump through. I’m also hopeful. We have taken a major step and spoken with an actual person who was encouraging and will help us through a big portion of our journey. It’s bureaucracy but it’s a bureaucracy with a pleasant voice attached. I’m so thankful that this agency has reminded us several times now that God’s timing isn’t ours and that it will all work out in accordance to his perfect will in his way in his perfect time.

So readers, those we know and those we don’t, please keep us in your prayers. Pray for patience and encouragement. Pray for creativity as we continue to come up with ways to fundraise. Pray that we look to our Papa in heaven as we trudge on to become Mama and Tata.

The race is on and PK is at the end.


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